Whatever happens with me in the next two or three years, one thing is certain and that’s I’ll be traveling in new and unfamiliar territory. Choosing to spend a great deal of time away from Flint has consequences, some understandable and desirable, others unseen and (a little) unsettling. The core of both is creating a lifestyle that revolves around work and self-fulfillment and it comes rather late in life by many standards, but I can’t turn back. So I plod along. Plodding is apropos, since I have (finally) learned to resist impulses, or resist long enough to consider the good and the bad of the possible outcomes.
My biggest impulse is to stop teaching and jump into an abyss of unknowns… just following my gut and put everything into making a new life in a new place. That place would be Taos and every day that I am here, it calls to me in wonderful and seductive ways, but is it a siren song (the impulse to find something new) or truly my heart? That’s the scary question, and even scarier is that there is no answer yet. So I plod along, acting out a drama where the script is unfinished, but believe it will end well. It reminds me of the theater manager character played by Geoffrey Rush in Shakespeare in Love, who when asked how the play ends retorts, “Who Knows, It’s a Mystery.”
I met a long time Dallas friend and fellow artist, Stuart Kraft, yesterday in Taos and we shared stories and the same dream of making the move here. Seems this urge has been fairly constant since around 1915 with the founding of the Taos Society of Artists, and later as painters, poets, writers, socialites, and intellectuals came here seeking and finding similar satisfaction. There has been a continuos flow here, many come and leave, others stay and prosper. I’d like to think I have the spirit, will, and fortitude to gain membership in the latter group. Time will tell.
This trip comes as many of my goals and ambitions have born fruit — multiple publications this year, good results in my darkroom adventures, and images that have become more true and direct to my purpose. Yet, I am concerned that the scenery has painted a solid rosy tint on my eyes, effecting my vision and my thinking. But ultimately, it is my life and that single fact allows me to think, act, and plan in ways unimaginable just a few years ago.
Stay tuned. The ride will certainly be bumpy, but what a ride it will be.